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M is for Mercury in Retrograde

M is for Mercury

Mercury is in retrograde. I've heard this saying 100 times. I've researched it, and I get it. Each planet rules different aspects of our selves. Mercury governs communication. When it's in retrograde or resting, it destabilizes healthy communication. Let's be honest: I'm not an expert on astrology or astronomy. I just know when things feel weird. During my research, I’ve read that Mercury’s retrograde is a great time for writers to retreat inward and connect with their creative side. I've felt guided to do this lately.

I walked into a store last week for the first time. I didn't really like this store or anything in it. I decided to walk out. On my way out I happened across a mass production Buddha on canvas that caught my eye. I walked over to it and glanced to my right. There was a small section of art supplies—watercolor, acrylics, canvas, art paper. This place isn't the kind of place to sell these items regularly. Of course I bought them all.

Two nights prior I’d had a conversation with my long distance love, in which we talked about our both wanting to learn watercolor. He is such a talented, creative artist. For my birthday he wrote me a love letter in calligraphy. I love everything about it. Ask and you shall receive, said the world.

This past Saturday before work, I stopped into the art supply store at the end of my street. I have passed by it every day for two years and never gone in. I needed watercolor paper and tracing paper. It's a pretty cool store! The easels were in the back, and I had the passing thought that it would be nice to have an easel one day. I paid at the counter with the awkward yet interesting sales clerk and walked out.

Five steps out onto the pavement, and there it stood. A sign that read, "FREE TAKE ME." It was hanging perfectly on a light wood easel. I laughed out loud and picked her up. I was going to fit it in my car one way or another. I rolled down my back windows so a portion of it hung outside the passenger window. I would go with the flow!

I have so much happen each week that I’m never certain which parts to share, which parts are taking it too far. I want to draw light to certain things we know and to others we don’t know enough about. I get overwhelmed with my life sometimes. It's not often, but it happens in a real way. Every now and then I just want to be taken care of. Do you ever feel like you give a lot, and you have no time for yourself?

I'm writing in bed and glance up to see my beautiful pure white large feather. It's from a white pigeon. I was given the feather while I was in Havana, Cuba. Pigeons are a key part of Cuban culture. They train their pigeons and race them. This white feather is pinched into a side of a framed painting I have hanging on my bedroom wall. I started finding feathers a couple of years ago. They come to me whenever I really need a sign of support or confirmation that I'm doing a good job. Yes, I know this brings us back to being a kid and our parents saying, “Don't touch that, it has germs.” Good thing I'm not a kid anymore because I have the most beautiful collection of interesting feathers. All shapes, sizes, and colors.

I hadn't found one in a really long time until early Saturday evening.

I found a small grey feather on the sidewalk. I walked out of a wig shop on 4th street. I was there helping a client find a wig for her new journey. My client had just started the beginning stages of transitioning from male to female. Throw out all the confusion that just entered your mind. Transitioning in any way, shape or form is all about finding yourself and being yourself at your core.

This concept of staying in touch with my authentic self plays a significant role in my life. It's of utmost importance for me always to hold myself to the highest integrity. Each one of us is gifted. I promise, you are gifted. Even the person saying, "I'm so not gifted!" Yep, you're gifted also. For those of you who fall into this category, take this as a personal invitation to retreat inward and meet yourself for the first time. Say hello to your soul, and unlock the bad ass from within. When you do, you’ll find it much easier to be yourself: the real self that you try not to be for fear of being too needy, emotional, sensitive, fierce, and strong. You’ll find that it feels really good.

So this was a big week. I am coming down off my high from the mediumship event. I needed to rest and not push myself. I needed to take time off from making decisions. (I literally gave myself seven days off from making decisions.) I consider myself just a little on the perfectly OCD side of organized. Who knows? Maybe I'll take another week off from worry. Sometimes life is about going all out. Then other times, it is learning the power of the pause.

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